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Poster Music Puns
technique2012





Posts: 272
Joined: Aug 11, 2012
Location: Illinois, USA
No. 1 Posted on Nov 1, 2013 12:38 PM Profile | PM | Quote | Search | Copy | Favorite
So my band room has a poster that says, "Without music, life would B flat." That got me thinking about other music puns out there. Do you guys have any?


"Anyone can make the simple complicated. Creativity is making the complicated simple."
-Charles Mingus
pwc





Posts: 9883
Joined: Jan 16, 2005
Location: Pattaya, Thailand
No. 2 Posted on Nov 1, 2013 4:49 PM Profile | PM | Quote | Search | Copy | Favorite
My drum kit cymbalizes my personality ....


Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Andy





Posts: 1712
Joined: Jan 16, 2005
Location: Rockford, MI
No. 3 Posted on Nov 1, 2013 5:09 PM Profile | PM | Quote | Search | Copy | Favorite
Not really puns but running jokes in my band include....

"Let me help you with that heavy amp!" (just as the two guys struggling to carry it reach their destination)

"So what key are you going to be in during this song?" (Guitar player to bassist who was in the wrong key many months ago for an entire song.)

"I know that when the music stops I need to run in the house and hide." (My wife's comment after realizing that band guys practicing in the barn head for the woods during breaks.)

"Wait guys, I need to tune my cymbals." (as I carefully rotate my crash cymbal on its stand)

"Hey, I wonder if they make distortion boxes for drums? That way I could make my drums sound as crappy as your guitar in that last song."

"You can tell when Andy is knocking on the door because it's out of time and he doesn't know when to stop!" (Bass player's attempt to make me cry.)

"What do you expect from a guitar player you found on Craigslist?" (Guitar player responding to criticism of his playing)




StillKicken





Posts: 2315
Joined: Jan 16, 2005
Location: Buda, Texas
No. 4 Posted on Nov 2, 2013 4:49 AM Profile | PM | Email | Quote | Search | Copy | Favorite
Not sure if it's a pun or a joke.

A bandleader stated: (missing the letter) This will be in the key of Flat. I replied: All my drums are in in the key of Flat; pointing at the heads. LOL!

As in Andy's jokes: After a gig the Bass player asked: Can I help you put my bass amp on the floor?

There are other musical puns, I just can't think of one right now.

sherm



K.I.S.S. = Keep It Simple System
Singlestroker





Posts: 513
Joined: Apr 7, 2010
No. 5 Posted on Nov 2, 2013 3:25 PM Profile | PM | Email | Quote | Search | Copy | Favorite
For those who don't live in the UK: an undercover police officer is known over here as a Detective Constable, shortened to DC. DS is a Detective Sergeant.

I'm sure someone with imagination could come up with a little story about the escapades of DS Al Fine, DC Al Coda and DC Al Segno.


Singlestroker edited on Nov 3, 2013 2:11 PM

StillKicken





Posts: 2315
Joined: Jan 16, 2005
Location: Buda, Texas
No. 6 Posted on Nov 3, 2013 7:23 AM Profile | PM | Email | Quote | Search | Copy | Favorite
Not a Pun.

One of the band members after a gig sometime says; You know, I've played many gigs in life and this was defiantly one of them.

sherm Big Smile



K.I.S.S. = Keep It Simple System
pwc





Posts: 9883
Joined: Jan 16, 2005
Location: Pattaya, Thailand
No. 7 Posted on Nov 3, 2013 8:43 PM Profile | PM | Quote | Search | Copy | Favorite
Stevie Wonder is playing his 1st gig in China and the place is packed to the rafters. In a bid to break the ice he asks if anyone has a request.
One chap jumps out of his seat in the 1st row and shouts at the top of his voice "Play a jazz chord! Play a jazz chord!"

Amazed that this guy knows about the jazz influences in Stevie's career, the blind impresario starts to play an E minor scale and then goes into a difficult jazz melody for about 10 minutes. When he finishes the whole place goes wild.

The chap jumps out of his seat again and shouts "No, no, play a jazz chord, play a jazz chord".

A bit cheesed off by this, Stevie, being the professional that he is, dives straight in to a jazz improvisation with his band around the B flat minor chord and really tears the place apart. The crowd goes ballistic with this impromptu show of his musical expertise.

But, still the little Chinese man jumps up again and shouts "No, no. Play a jazz chord, play a jazz chord".

Stevie is really annoyed now that this chap doesn't seem to appreciate his playing ability and shouts to him from the stage " OK - smart arse, you get up here and do it".

The little bloke climbs onto the stage, takes hold of the mike and starts to sing............

"A jazz chord to say, I ruv you... "



Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Andy





Posts: 1712
Joined: Jan 16, 2005
Location: Rockford, MI
No. 8 Posted on Nov 4, 2013 10:21 AM Profile | PM | Quote | Search | Copy | Favorite
True story (not like Peter's tall tale, above):

I was packing up after a long gig. As I was walking through the door toward the parking lot carrying a load of drum cases, a couple drunk girls were just walking in. They turned to me and said: "Are you with the band?" I put on my smart ass face and looked surprised. "Why, yes! You are very perceptive and intelligent. I am, in fact, with the band. But now I have a question for you. Can you guess which instrument I play?" The two girls carefully examined the pile of drum cases in my hands, paused, looked at one another and finally one of them sheepishly answered "the drums?"




OldFart

Mapex



Posts: 6655
Joined: Apr 2, 2007
Location: Peoria, AZ
No. 9 Posted on Nov 9, 2013 8:32 PM Profile | PM | Quote | Search | Copy | Favorite
I worked as a Meat Cutter in a supermarket years and years ago ...

One day, during a busy sale, a woman who desired to Zoom the other patrons who were neatly queued-up waiting patiently to make their special request known to the order-taker, stepped around the crowd (not realizing I'd seen her afar off just arriving at the scene after the queue had formed) and said :

"YooHoo! Mr. Butcher! Are YOU busy?"

{Of course I was, I'd been running round the place helping the order-taker for a couple hours by that time}

I responded :

"Oh, no Ma'am ... I'm Steve!"

And with that, I immediately turned and walked away; but not before noticing the extremely puzzled look on her face.

{People in the queue chuckled and snickered that I 'had their back' }

I know this isn't a musical pun, but I took their reaction to my retort to the shopper as 'music to their ears'.



Mapex Saturn * Paiste
Terry Bozzio Single-Ply Coated

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