Remo
DrumTalk » General Discussion

Need some advice
go to previous topicgo to next topic

post new topic reply to topic Print this post Print post Forward this post Forward post Click to watch this topic Watch This Topic flat mode Flat threaded mode Threaded
Poster Need some advice
earthdog





Posts: 11
Joined: Jun 14, 2007
Location: Port St Lucie, Florida
No. 1 Posted on Sep 23, 2013 6:20 PM Profile | PM | Email | Quote | Search | Copy | Favorite
Hey all, it's been a while since I've posted on here...but I have a dilemma and I could use some advice as to how my band and I should proceed. We are a four piece group that initially started as a trio. We added the second guitar player after we posted an ad on CL for one. He ended up being a guy I knew and had done gigs with when we were in previous, but separate bands. We auditioned and he got the job, but as we've been going on and trying to get out and gig, it's been tough. The band has only done two real gigs so far and many, many rehearsals before those two. Our fourth member is a Stage 4 liver cancer survivor and while he is(and as far as we know, remains) in remission, he's been having some health issues as of late with a bad back and going to the oncologist soon to get some tests done. Also, only 2-3 weeks into playing with us, he came and asked us if it was okay if he started another project with some buddies of his. Of course we couldn't tell him no and we didn't want to at that time either, so he went and started playing around with his friends and actually started booking gigs before my band had even gotten callbacks from most places that I had contacted. Okaaaay...that side project of his fell apart recently as the bass player saw some things differently, and as far as I know, it's not moving anywhere at this point. But the previous bass player mentioned to me that he had submitted another bass player for him so now it could be coming back. While I don't have a definitive answer on that, my dilemma is: we are thinking of letting him go, if anything for his health alone, but also because of some strangeness about him that gave us a certain vibe. Like a half foot in, half out kind of vibe. And we don't want to come off as jerks about it either, of course,...any suggestions?


www.oddessey.us
RvJim

Reverend

Moderator

Posts: 4215
Joined: Jan 16, 2005
Location: Essex, United Kingdom
No. 2 Posted on Sep 23, 2013 11:06 PM Profile | PM | Quote | Search | Copy | Favorite
Sometimes it is best to rip the bandaid off quickly...


"The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously"
-Hubert H Humphrey
pwc





Posts: 9917
Joined: Jan 16, 2005
Location: Pattaya, Thailand
No. 3 Posted on Sep 24, 2013 3:00 AM Profile | PM | Quote | Search | Copy | Favorite
I'm with Rv. If you are in a regular gigging band you you have some basis to work things out but when you are still at rehearsal stage and nothing is certain, why waste emotion and time on something that frustrates you in any way.


Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
StillKicken





Posts: 2338
Joined: Jan 16, 2005
Location: Buda, Texas
No. 4 Posted on Sep 24, 2013 7:06 PM Profile | PM | Email | Quote | Search | Copy | Favorite
I agree with the two guy above.

Has he tried to book gigs for your band?..?..?

It is possible for some musicians to play with multiple bands; I play with three now as do some of my friends. Every one knows it's first come first serve unless it's a regular timed gig.

sherm



K.I.S.S. = Keep It Simple System
earthdog





Posts: 11
Joined: Jun 14, 2007
Location: Port St Lucie, Florida
No. 5 Posted on Sep 25, 2013 1:40 PM Profile | PM | Email | Quote | Search | Copy | Favorite
StillKicken wrote:
I agree with the two guy above.

Has he tried to book gigs for your band?..?..?

It is possible for some musicians to play with multiple bands; I play with three now as do some of my friends. Every one knows it's first come first serve unless it's a regular timed gig.

sherm

No, he hasn't booked anything for us...the other band he had going had booked a few places, but I think only one was his own booking, but he hasn't offered to book us there or anything. I've been doing the booking and it's been tough to get places on board. The catalyst for all of this was Labor Day weekend we had played our first actual gig that Saturday. It went pretty well and on the following Tuesday, I called a different venue to follow up on me giving our card to one of their employees and they asked if we could fill in a slot that upcoming Friday. After checking with the other two guys, who responded in the affirmative, the gentleman in question proceeded to tell me he didn't want to do the gig as he's been playing out a lot and was tired. Bearing in mind, our band had only done the one gig 3 days prior. And his other project had been playing out for a month or so. Although it was short notice, the venue was a place I had been trying to book for months and all my guys knew it, so I really wanted to make it happen.
I've done the multiple band thing myself and I always made it work...he has obviously bitten off more than he can chew...



www.oddessey.us
technique2012





Posts: 287
Joined: Aug 11, 2012
Location: Illinois, USA
No. 6 Posted on Sep 25, 2013 2:10 PM Profile | PM | Quote | Search | Copy | Favorite
earthdog wrote:
No, he hasn't booked anything for us...the other band he had going had booked a few places, but I think only one was his own booking, but he hasn't offered to book us there or anything. I've been doing the booking and it's been tough to get places on board. The catalyst for all of this was Labor Day weekend we had played our first actual gig that Saturday. It went pretty well and on the following Tuesday, I called a different venue to follow up on me giving our card to one of their employees and they asked if we could fill in a slot that upcoming Friday. After checking with the other two guys, who responded in the affirmative, the gentleman in question proceeded to tell me he didn't want to do the gig as he's been playing out a lot and was tired. Bearing in mind, our band had only done the one gig 3 days prior. And his other project had been playing out for a month or so. Although it was short notice, the venue was a place I had been trying to book for months and all my guys knew it, so I really wanted to make it happen.
I've done the multiple band thing myself and I always made it work...he has obviously bitten off more than he can chew...

I think you're better off letting him go and finding someone else. It wouldn't be the end of the world for you or him and it sounds like you'd benefit from finding someone else with a more flexible schedule and more dedication to your project.



"Anyone can make the simple complicated. Creativity is making the complicated simple."
-Charles Mingus
Andy





Posts: 1724
Joined: Jan 16, 2005
Location: Rockford, MI
No. 7 Posted on Sep 25, 2013 3:02 PM Profile | PM | Quote | Search | Copy | Favorite
I'd definitely let him go. Return to your 3-piece format, do some gigs and then slowly look for the perfect 4th guy.

He pretty much quit your band when he booked side gigs and refused to do the Labor Day gig, so don't feel bad. Be polite, be professional but if you don't jettison this guy, the whole band will suffer.




StillKicken





Posts: 2338
Joined: Jan 16, 2005
Location: Buda, Texas
No. 8 Posted on Sep 25, 2013 3:17 PM Profile | PM | Email | Quote | Search | Copy | Favorite
When you join a band you have a commitment to all the individuals in that band. You don't cut everyone's pay because you are tired.

If you have a good reason for not being there you ask the leader if they would use a replacement and offer to help find one. If not, be there.

I'm an old man with a day job; starting Saturday a week ago I played 5 jobs, skipping Sunday and Thursday. I was one tired little puppy Saturday morning and sleep to almost noon. LOL!!

sherm



K.I.S.S. = Keep It Simple System
earthdog





Posts: 11
Joined: Jun 14, 2007
Location: Port St Lucie, Florida
No. 9 Posted on Sep 25, 2013 4:19 PM Profile | PM | Email | Quote | Search | Copy | Favorite
StillKicken wrote:
When you join a band you have a commitment to all the individuals in that band. You don't cut everyone's pay because you are tired.

If you have a good reason for not being there you ask the leader if they would use a replacement and offer to help find one. If not, be there.


I agree with everything you say, Sherm...we don't have a defacto "leader" as we all have different roles in the band. We are probably going to have to sack him as we can't wait for him to make or break every decision we have and that's the way it seems to go as of late. Whether intentional or not, he killed ANY momentum we had going for us when he opted out of that gig. Could we have done it as a trio? Maybe, but at that point, the entire setlist(4 hours worth) had been based on some songs he brought to the table and we couldn't cover the time as a trio. We have a gig on Saturday and rehearsal tomorrow but after Sat., we have a month to prepare for our next gig and that'll give us ample time to get our ducks in a row



www.oddessey.us
Andy





Posts: 1724
Joined: Jan 16, 2005
Location: Rockford, MI
No. 10 Posted on Sep 26, 2013 5:06 AM Profile | PM | Quote | Search | Copy | Favorite
Best of luck with your guitar player.

I had a similar experience about a year ago. The bass player and I got fed up with everyone else's conflicts, no-shows and failure to practice. I simply stopped coordinating practices - no reminders - no special calls, and the other 3 guys just faded away never to be heard from again. We found a solid guitar player and a solid singer, now all is well in the world! Smile

I can't believe I stayed with those other clowns for so long.




earthdog





Posts: 11
Joined: Jun 14, 2007
Location: Port St Lucie, Florida
No. 11 Posted on Oct 14, 2013 6:26 PM Profile | PM | Email | Quote | Search | Copy | Favorite
Well, it appears that he isn't going to continue with us. We have already reverted to rehearsing as a 3-piece and we did invite him to our rehearsal this week only to get absolutely no response from him. We had attempted a rehearsal 2 weeks ago where he told me he would be there, only to have to back out at the very last minute saying that his granddaughter wasn't feeling well and had to take her to the doctor. I told him to not worry about us and make sure she is taken care of. Later that evening, the former bass player of his other band messaged me on FB asking me if Paul had quit our band that night. I told him, no...was he supposed to? He proceeded to tell me that he had accidentally called Paul and that Paul told him that he was planning to quit that night. I never confronted Paul about it, but needless to say it did put a bad taste in my mouth about the entire situation. So, it goes...I thank you all for your advice on this...Smile


www.oddessey.us
Andy





Posts: 1724
Joined: Jan 16, 2005
Location: Rockford, MI
No. 12 Posted on Oct 15, 2013 4:07 PM Profile | PM | Quote | Search | Copy | Favorite
Good for you. Never call this guy again. He's "band poison."




post new topic reply to topic Print this post Print post Forward this post Forward post Click to watch this topic Watch This Topic flat mode Flat threaded mode Threaded
  go to previous topicgo to next topic
Normal post
New post
Deleted Post
Privacy & Legal | Support | Catalogs  © 2014 Remo Inc.
   
 
Page was generated in 38 milliseconds